Video soundtrack: Johnny Flynn for ‘The Detectorists’ Soundtrack (linked here)
In December I had a sneaky little ‘rest week’. It sort of happened as a diary work-quirk a bit unexpectedly and out of my hands. I went with it and stayed home, didn’t go out to any paid work and didn’t make any plans. I didn’t try to catch up with logistical things (too much) and I just kind of loafed and slouched about, staring out of windows and taking things slowly.
It was good. So I decided to schedule another week in April.
It was ‘rest week’ this week. I admit I found it hard to get into the spirit of it on the first day and tried to force myself to do useful things. When I remembered the value of letting myself be quietly and spontaneously slow in that little peaceful gap in mid Winter, I relaxed enough to get into it.
The first three months of this year have felt a bit like a fight with myself, with tiredness, sadness and a side order of ambient rage mostly about being at the fuzzy end of changing financial circumstances and the machinations of the last five or so years which have seen a big drop and then freezing of my teaching salary. I have to work hard to escape the echoing of the phrase ‘backwards engineered career’ inside my own head. My heart is desperate to have more time for making art and illustrations. I have to stay working full time not doing art for longer than I hoped. I am lucky in so many ways and I am grateful for all that I have, that I have jobs enough to just about cover the cost of living, for enjoying the teaching and other work I do, all the same. The truth is, I feel that other sad, dark stuff too. I feel all of it, I’m working on it.(This is just a function of being a human I think - the feeling of it, isn’t it?)
This week has been a balm of balms.’Rest week’ doesn’t really have rules, but I think a big part of the specialness of the week is that it is allowed to just unfold. It is unscheduled and guided only by whims of the day. This week was full of simple familiar and slow (but lately squeezed out and ignored) pleasures: Hand sewing, baking FAR too many cookies (and eating ALL of them), watching network TV True Crime/ Cop shows whilst drawing, Spring cleaning with my two dear little dogs and LOTS of hanging out with them - I forget how much I love them, when I’m running about sticking to my regular work schedule. Waking in the night to hear the dogs snoring contented snores after busy fun days, next to the bed (in their own little Moomin beds) made me clasp my hands together in delight in this week (usually waking in the night fuels my rage and I testily lie awake for hours).
There was meeting a friend and two of her little tribe for coffee, bitterly cold Easter garden games and self made fizzy drinks (straws plus small children plus cups of liquids = indoor fumeroles). I am still chuckling to myself about hearing excited shouts of ‘SOOOOZANNNER’ as they waited for me.
I went to my lovely friend Heidi’s shop ‘Koti Store’ in the beautiful Norfolk Village Reepham. You can see my cards in her store and this week she had a real herbalist’s cauldron for sale.
I rekindled my love for drawing on paper, with crayons and ink pens and I listened to lots of crunchy BBC radio. I stopped to smell blossom and even planted some in my own garden.
And the pure JOY of getting my creaky bicycle on the road again and the ancient feeling of ADVENTURE as I peddle along Norfolk roads in no hurry past ALL the trees and fields and hedgerows saying ‘hello beauty’ to the birds, animals, insects and oak trees as I sail by.Oh how I MUST keep these simple pleasures alive in my life from now on…
Next ‘Rest Week’ is in August. Can’t wait!
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