Hello! & all about me
Because 250 characters feels a little short to get to know you…
Hello there… I’m Susannah.
I draw, write and make, inspired by meaty old folk narratives - ancient threadbare stories about fear, mystery, challenge and 100 year long curses. I am especially drawn to the lonesome beasts and wicked old hags at the edges of these tales.
The anti-heroines and animalia of the peripheries seem to me to hold slivers of a feral rebel-strength I find hard to get a grip of. These qualities are the perfect antidote to my over developed drive to be palatable, unobtrusive and frankly, a little bit buttoned up and self-suppressive.
Dance?
Me?
Oh, no. I don’t think so...
See what I mean?
Buttoned.
Up.
Folk and fairy tales scratch at something internal and forgotten. My creative practice is an attempt at remembering this ‘forgotten’ thing and reconnecting to an unselfconscious mode of being. I circle between drawing, writing and making (mostly sewing): sifting, seeking and exploring archetypes and themes of loneliness, imagined worlds, misinterpretation and fanciful, falsified recollection. My multi-headed and somewhat chaotic methodology seems to generate the right conditions for me to coax the imaginary into the material realm.
I have been an inventive and excitable teacher of art since 1999. I have worked in galleries, schools and colleges as an educator, class teacher, lecturer and department leader.
In September 2017 I shifted out of full-time commitment to leading art departments and teaching art in schools and relocated, aiming to develop my own creative practice.
Simultaneously excited and frozen-stiff about my decision to make this big bold and comprehensive life change, I went more than a little haywire for a good 18 months while I nervously tested possible new ways of making a living. This exploration included ‘money manifestation’ courses, lots of audio books about ‘Thinking and Growing Rich’ and programmes for ‘Boss Babes’.
I scrabbled hard at trying to be some sort of broad-smiled ‘come on in, the water is warm’ brand of expert in something. Meanwhile, I noticed in myself an unnerving, bone-deep lack of faith in my ability (or right) to earn a living solely from drawing, writing and making. This realisation was a strange and quietly smothering flush of shame: I mean - wasn’t this my time NOW? Hadn’t I given up EVERYTHING for this? And why, WHY was I SQUANDERING up my ONE chance…
And then a cruel redemption interrupted my spiralling: late in August 2019, sudden and serious illness named Ramsay Hunt yanked me, my insecurities and my enfeebled immune system down to the underworld for a long conference with my shadow. Books about Norse myths and witches, wolves and wild women formed my stairs back up…
In recovery in January 2020 I made a quiet commitment to a life where, no matter how slowly, how wild or oafish (or embarrassing) the projects that asked to be made felt and no matter how afraid I was of (still) not knowing what on earth I’m doing (or how much sharing can feel like having my pants pulled down in public) - I would become a functioning adult who draws, writes and makes for a living. No matter how slowly. Change happens in small daily doses of the things we do - or stop doing - the things we start to think of as non-negotiable and attend to everyday without a fanfare or expecting anything to happen quickly. Building something (anything) takes time and missteps, I suppose. But look at who I’m telling: you know this! We know this. Substack feels like a really good place to share my continuing hand drawn path with you.
Thank you for being here too!
I also post on Instagram.
You’ll find me here: @susannahgram
See you soon X