Anger, Pinch, Punch

Blank Stares & Secret Rage

Happy New Year! Hope you had time for rest and cheeriness and some soothing candle- soft twinkling lights.

After the EXHILARATION of the imagined book cover challenge, I’m participating in #apinchandapunchclub during 2024. Details of the challenge and how to get involved at the bottom of this post. You can find me on Instagram at @susannahgram

Prompt 1 for January 2024 is ANGER - I love the audacity and originality of this choice, right out of the gate when traditionally we all feel we should be gliding into the new year on a cloud of aspirant joy.

The following collection of images is my visual response to this word, ANGER. These images are designed to work in a sequence together. As with all my Illustration work, there’s lots left on the cutting room floor - including a whole avenue of exploration into the autoimmune diseases I am surely storing/creating the perfect environment for, by swallowing and suppressing my anger in the way I do.

I definitely feel anger - but I hold it in and keep it secret. Thinking about this assignment, I was interested to remind myself of Harriet Lerner’s work specifically around women and anger and Gabor Maté’s works regarding anger, which he frames as a way we protect our boundaries. If we struggle to express our anger (um HELLO!) it’s because somehow our inner child feels it’s an unsafe/illegitimate feeling for us to have or express. Maté also proposes that if we have no sense of how to defend our external world boundaries with healthy anger then we can expect our immune system to become confused about how to govern our internal systems of defence too. All neurotic joking aside, I had actual nightmares about physical fights and boundary defending for days after doing this research. I find Dr Maté’s work so very sobering.

My finished illustrations are neatened up sketchbook ideas. I wanted there to be a kind of doll like rigidity to the figure (me) in the images, as she is in a kind of dissociative state - which is how it feels when I know I am angry and at large: but can’t deal with the anger right then and there, so the swallowing happens and I postpone expression of it.

The Illustration I wish I had been able to crack but just couldn’t get to work is me as a human kettle, with a screaming spout mouth and little arms and legs. On paper the spout always looked a bit too phallic! So I think the rage-kettle breathing out the little emo steam heads was the best version of the idea. I also liked the idea of this serious and complex anger, which coils about and ties me in knots being over really suddenly. I think that’s often my experience of anger too (and perhaps why I don’t totally trust it) that something can feel like the end of the world on a Monday or the biggest insult and by Tuesday it’s clear I over reacted or misunderstood and all is well again.

In other news, I think my personal word for 2024 (are we still choosing words for the year or am I being a bit 2016?) might very well be participation - but it’s really too soon to know for sure 😂 I’m keeping my options open for a few more days.

Anger Images

The Pinch And A Punch Club Challenge

is run by imagined book cover challenge OGs: The wonderful @mosokje and @the.nelly.edwards with surprise co-hosts grabbing the mic for live guest appearances. For January the guest co-host is the very talented, digital collage slay-er, very kind (you want this cheerleader in your squad)and generous @sudden.strangeness.

Here’s what we know about Pinching and Punching in this way:

1.   There is one prompt per month

2.   Entries must relate to the prompt

3.   There's a whole month to work on your entry.

4.   You post on the first of the month

5.   You use #apinchandapunchclub

6.   And if you want to make sure your entry is seen by the hosts, you tag them IN your picture (there’s an option to tag people in the final screen on Instagram, before you post) and they may share your work in their stories…

   You can find me on Instagram here: @susannahgram

More Illustration related tales really soon (or previous post about imagined book covers here)

Thanks for being here

Susannah x